I Carry You

I carry you with me in my head...

Sometimes the thought of you feels like a dream

Sometimes it feels like this entire past year has been reset

Almost as if it never happened

As if I didn’t carry you for 8 months

As if I didn’t hold you for 10 weeks

And other times, the thought of you is so present,

There’s no way I can deny that you were real

That you’re still real, though not in the physical sense, here with us

I carry you with me in my heart...

A heart-shaped locket, close to my own heart,

Decorated with butterflies and your name engraved on the back

I wear it most hours of the day

During the hardest moments, I grasp it and kiss it

Like I used to kiss your tiny cheeks and forehead

I carry you with me in my memory...

Oh, how I want to both remember and forget all in the same breath!

Your whole life, short though it was, plays in my mind like a movie,

From the first moment they placed you on my chest, and you looked into my eyes,

And in one moment, I fell in love and was instantly wrapped around your tiny finger,

All the way through to that early nightmarish morning

As painful as it is, and to some extent, will always be,

You will live in my memory for the rest of my life.

I carry you with me in my head, my heart, my memory...forever...

You will always be a part of me, of us

You will never be forgotten

Our little butterfly baby

Our little angel

Gone from this world, but never from our hearts

William Coe Bagley

“Wilco”

3/28/10-6/4/10